When I was in high school, I loved doing skits, and I also loved watching my classmates’ skits. Nothing is as charming, as hilarious, as bangag as a high school skit. Kids with little regard for a coherent or even sensible story invent these skits, but they do it with so much understanding of what their audience will love. I have spent many hours in high school laughing at my classmates crazy, creative, “horrible,” funny skits, and I still remember some of them up until this day.
Janis says “Hi I’m joyful Janis.” Johanna says “Hi I’m joyous Johanna.” Jane says, “Hi I’m jolly Jane.”
My mind swims….jackass…nope, definitely no…jittery…still no…jaguar…PANTS ba ito? Ito pa…jaundice…I did get jaundice when I was born. My mom said I had yellow skin, and they had to put me in an incubator. Ok concentrate.
The teacher looks at me. Expecting. Eyebrows encouraging. Ok fine.
I say, “Hi, I’m jumping Jasmine.” My classmates laugh.
Margaret Dianne Alikpala. Aret for short. Cousin of Thea Alikpala. Obvious ba? Ilan bang tao ang nagkakataon lang na may surname na Alikpala? Anyway…. Mabait naman si Aret, makulit at nakakatuwa. May isa lamang masaklap na katotohanan sa kanyang katauhan at iyon ang kanyang munting kapansanan sa tenga. Sa madaling salita, siya ay…………………………………. BINGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1.) Movie: “We welcome the great HEROES of China!”
Aret: “Ano? Great WALL of China?”
2.) Paula: “Meron ba tayong ASSEMBLY today?”
Aret: “Anong SEM-BREAK?”
3.) Marilou: “Puwede ba ung answer na ILLEGAL NA DROGA?”
Aret: “Ano? KARAOKE?”
I found this in my old Myspace blog so I decided to put it here:
1.) Sir Valenton: Compare yourself to something.
Dizon: I am like an eagle because like an eagle I can soar above the clouds.
*grad song namin un*
2.) Ms Windsor: Are you finished copying?
Bettina: Wait a minute…hot coffee (We weren’t allowed to speak Tagalog in English class. Wait a minute kaping mainit dapat.)
3.) Someone: KJ, ung first name ng scientist John hindi Johannes
KJ: John, Johannes, pareho na un!
4.) Ms Windsor: Here’s my tip. When you are doing your dramatic monologue, you must forget who you are. When you’re Jasmine, forget that you are Jasmine…
Chic: …and think that you’re Aladdin
Bettina: *singing* I can show you the world
5.) Ms. Windsor: I may not be here next year.
Bettina: You’re getting married?
Ms. Windsor: NO!
Ms. Windsor: Actually…I’m joining the convent.
Ms. Windsor: No! I was just kidding!
*eh duh sobrang seryoso ng mukha niya nung sinabi niya un. Tuloy naniwala kami.*
6.) Sir valenton: Answer your own answer.
7.) Sir Valenton: One last two.
8.) Sir Valenton: True love seek the best of the others.
9.) Sir Valenton: Do you know the show GOOD MORNING GIRLS? *Morning Girls lang kasi eh*
10.) Suggestions para sa name ng Fair:
Fengeng Fera (pengeng pera)
Fairates of the Caribbean (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Good Morning Girls and Fairents (Good morning girls and parents)
11.) Chis: I have a joke about STROGANOFF
Ms. Windsor: *parang naaasar pa* Yes, OPEN NOTES!
*Shit! Ang bingi! Tawa tuloy kami ng tawa. Napatingin pa nga si Windsor.*
12.) Written on the board:
Ms. Alba wrote: God helps those who help themselves.
Someone wrote: So help me God.
13.)Sir Valenton: Teenagers often do not know who they are. They have IDENTICAL CRISIS. (Identity crisis naman)
14.) Sir Castro: Manganganta din pala si Tata Matyas (character in Ibong Mandaragit by Amado V. Hernandez.) Meron pa nga siyang orihinal na kanta na pinamagatang…Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy me (Song un ni Tata Young.)
15.) Sir Castro is showing the class a powerpoint presentation, specifically a picture of the day when WWII ended. In the photo, people were coming out of their houses.
Sir Castro: Pagkatapos ng WWII lumabas ang lahat ng tao wala silang kamalay-malay na balang araw magiging parte sila ng isang…powerpoint presentation. (Akala ko pa naman kung ano ung mangyayari sa kanila.)
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Age of the Diary by Jasmine T. Cruz. If you like this post, please subscribe to this blog. Follow Ja on Twitter: ageofthediary. Email Ja at: email@example.com.