My Mother’s Top Five Weird Habits

1.) She never asks, she accuses.

Let’s say she finds a broken vase in the house, and wants to find out who broke it. She goes to my room, and she DOESN’T ask “Ja did you break the vase?” She says, “You broke the vase!”

2.) Circular texts

When she texts, she circles her thumb around the whole keypad every time she goes to punch one button. She doesn’t go straight to the button that she’s going to use. She just has to do the circle thing.

3.) Never Knocks

My mother never knocks before she enters my room. I just hear her forcefully opening the locked door. When I hear the doorknob being turned, to me that’s like hearing a knock. If I still don’t open the door, I hear her walk back to her room, open her drawer, and I’ll hear a jiggle of keys. Sometimes when I’m lazy or I’m napping, I don’t open the door and I just wait for her to get her keys.

4.) Pangakong napapako

If I want something and she says we’ll come back for it another day, or she says she’ll buy it another day, but she never will.

5.) Suggestions Work

When my mom was trying to teach me how to be independent, she started refusing to do things for me. I would ask her to make me milk (I know how to do it, but for some sort of reason the milk is better if she makes it), heat me some food, get me some plates, etc. So instead of saying “Ma can you make me milk?” which she will respond to with a “No, go make one yourself.” I started saying “I think I want milk.” Automatically she would get up and make one for me, forgetting that this was a request that she no longer entertained.

After a while she realized that this wasn’t working, so she decided to ship me to America, so I’ll never get to ask her to do something for a long time. I know by writing about this my mom will read my blog, and she will realize that I have been duping her for a long time, and this technique will no longer work. Oh well.

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