Truth and Niceness

Ever since I read The Secret I have become a big believer in positive thinking. The basic premise is that you have to think positive thoughts in order to attract positive events and positive people. If you think about it, it makes sense. If you are the bad-vibes girl, then people will avoid you like the plague, and if you are not friends with people, they won’t be able to help you out or help you learn something or point you toward opportunities. If you think you’ll fail, then that lack of confidence will show, and this will contribute to your failure.

These days I don’t even believe in letting off steam. I believe in sublimating or focusing my attention on positive things as opposed to ranting for the purpose of letting out my emotions. Some people think ranting is cathartic, but I’ve discovered that it just puts me in a worse mood. Of course, in certain instances, I do let off steam, but this is not my preferred course of action.

My dilemma now concerns truth. As much as I want to be nice, the truth is not always nice. If I don’t say the truth because it’s the nice thing to do, am I being fake? How can I still be nice if I say a horrible truth? If I tolerate an evil person just because I want to be nice, am I compromising my principles? How do you draw the line between truth and niceness?

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10 thoughts on “Truth and Niceness

  1. That’s an interesting inquiry on truth, Ja. For me, I always see truth as paradoxical. And its essence is much clearer within us than outside of us. It’s not the actions of others, but how we witness and respond to their actions. What do you think? 🙂


    1. That’s an interesting characterization of truth, but that characterization raises more questions. If truth is paradoxical, what are its implications on our actions? If we can find truth within us, how should we act on those realizations? If those realizations are negative, but they are the truth, should we still honor the truth and acknowledge this negative aspect of reality? Or should we favor being nice, covering up the truth, or regarding it in a different way, because being nice has its own value? What should supersede: truth or niceness? Thanks for your comment Rem!


      1. Thanks, Ja. That’s the question of bridging the gap between knowing and doing, which I believe is not just a philosophical dilemma, but also spiritual. This is why Love defies all confusions and ironies of our definitions of truth, and truth becomes an experience. =) [I mean, unconditional Love, hehe] =D


        1. Unconditional love seems like a good standard to judge whether you should do things or not. In that case, are you voting for niceness (which seems more consistent with love) over the recognition of an ugly truth? What if the recognition of this ugly truth is important or has value? How would you resolve this dilemma?


        2. Whichever Uncondtional Love directs a right choice. I can only refer to a very subjective experience, free from any moral imperatives. One good example I perfectly see is the truth about criminals and your insights about them. Their criminal acts are ugly truths. But by virtue of our shared humanity, we still desire to help them change and rectify their actions by living a good life. I can relate with your insights (which are very, very nice) because deep beneath them is the essential presence of Unconditional Love, without the need to use the term. We have the ugly truth (about criminals) and the niceness (your insights). Putting them in one picture has allowed us to understand more, rather than being torn of making a choice. We cannot tolerate criminals to do their acts, but we can do something to help those who have gone astray. It takes Unconditional Love, a skill which all of us are capable of developing, to see and balance those possibilities. Because of that, I’m convinced to vote for both the ugly truth and the niceness. How do you feel about it? 🙂


        3. That’s an interesting interpretation. I never thought of it that way. I guess it’s easier if both truth and niceness coincide instead of conflict. In those cases where they conflict, you are saying that we should try to figure out where unconditional love leads us. I think that is a valid way to make decisions. Thanks Rem!


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