Act of Grammatical Contrition

Forgive me, Grammar, for I have sinned. My sins are [insert your worst grammatical sin whether due to ignorance or to mistakes because of rushed writing and other random chances of error].

Oh, Grammar, I’m heartly sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my grammatical errors because of the just punishment of shame (from critics who tell you that “you should have learned that in grade school,” when you actually know the rule, but you simply made an honest mistake, when they should have given you the benefit of the doubt, when they should have given you a modicum of respect even if you’re just a young writer, when they really should have said “please correct this,” but they don’t have time to do this, because there’s no time to be nice, only time for derision. Maybe they should have learned sensitivity in grade school, or maybe a little bit of humanity. And you laugh at them when they make such mistakes such as writing “the group are”, and your laugh is cold and vengeful).

But most of all, because my faults have offended you, Grammar, when you are all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your guidelines to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sinful typos.

Amnenemen.

More Writing Exercises and Adventures:

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Note: For some entries in this blog, a few names and details have been deliberately and willingly changed by the author. This is a personal decision made by the author for specific reasons known to her and is not an endorsement for censorship.

All the opinions expressed in this page and in this blog are my own and do not represent the official stances of the companies, institutions, and organizations that I am affiliated with. I am a person. I’m not just a manifestation of corporate interests. I have an identity that is separate from my company because even if human beings are paid for a service by corporations, human beings are not owned by corporations.

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