Writing Exercises: If I Were to Do Something Really Crazy

Note: this is a writing exercise that I found in my diary.

Instructions: (from Natalie Goldberg. I forgot if it was from “Wild Mind” or “Writing Down the Bones”) Write for ten minutes. Start with the phrase, “If I were to do something crazy.”

If I were to do something really crazy, I would write you a letter. I would make you understand what I felt and why I cried. I would make you realize that you were wrong and I was right. But I don’t want to write you a letter. Because I want to move past you, to release you back into the black hole of memories, to annihilate, and to end.

I don’t want to write you a letter because talking to you means that you exist, and you haven’t existed in my world for a very long time.

I can confront you. I can make you pay. I can forgive you. I can forget you. I can watch you walk away.

If I could open a vein, I would open you, because you’re the only vein that has erupted, and you’re the only vein that I’m dying to close. If I were truly honest, I truly truly immensely loved you, when I thought I knew who you were, when I thought I knew who you truly were.

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