It’s weird, but the hardest thing to do is leave something that makes you miserable. I’m lucky that I was able to leave the courses that I didn’t love (To Shift or Not To Shift), I left the job that I hated, I left the guy who didn’t love me back, and I left the guy who I liked but didn’t love.
I have a friend who hated her job, and I had to like talk to her for months, trying to convince her to leave, but eventually she was able to do it. I hated my previous job so much that I had end-of-work days when I’d be crying in the bus. When I finally confessed this to my friend, she said that she had days like that too. But she stuck with that job for two years while I left after five months.
These experiences are not at all as grave as domestic violence, but I can see that domestic violence is another miserable situation that women have a hard time leaving. When the victim finally gains the courage to leave, people ask her, “Why did you stay?” As if nobody else in the world would be stupid enough to stay in a miserable situation, when every person experiences staying in a miserable situation or a miserable relationship, albeit their experiences of misery might be in varying degrees.
Misery makes people stay. The experience of abuse shatters a person’s self-confidence. The abuser makes her feel that nobody else would want her, and so she stays thinking that this is the only thing that she deserves. It was precisely the abuse that made her too scared to leave. So don’t ask her why she stayed. Just support her as she leaves and rebuilds her life.
More Analyze This:
- 5 Skills a Criminal Can Use to Start a New Life
- Dear Mr. Street Harasser
- Hey, sir! Hey, sir! Hey, sir!–said a female street harasser
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 1-2: The People of Ashtan)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 11-12: Fighting Tradition)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 13: The New Vandal)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 14: Anwaar and the King)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 3: Professor Rashib and the Three Maids)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 4: The Three Soldiers)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 5-6: The Public Court)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 7: Breakfast at Najiya’s)
- High School Play: Heroic Vandal (Scene 8-10: Blasted Culprit)
- How many men feel that they have a right to harass?
- Is she white?
- Preacher on the Bus
- The American Messianic Complex in The Interview
- This anti-rape nail polish thing
- Why Americans Shouldn’t Get Angry about the Flavors of Negros
- Why I’m Going to Stop Using the Word “Crazy”
- Why Women Shouldn’t Sit Properly
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