I Stopped Blaming Myself for Other People’s Choices

When someone rejects you, the worst thing to ask is: is there something wrong with me? I used to do this in the past, but now I have stopped blaming myself for other people’s choices.

This was once hard for me. I remember being rejected by the first guy I ever loved. I was in college, and I was finally in a co-ed school. I had long been locked up in an all-girls school for years, and during my stint there, I did not make an effort to go to soirees or to the friendship bridge, the bridge between my school Miriam College and the all boys-school Ateneo (grade school and high school).

I didn’t do those things because I was too young to be interested in romantic stuff. Also, I was arrogant. I was so confident that I was beautiful enough to easily snag the guy I wanted once I met him.

I did meet him, but he didn’t want me. He wanted someone else; he wanted my best friend.

It took a while before I recovered from that pain, and I learned a lot from it. One is that people make choices, and you cannot control what they want, so even if there’s nothing really wrong with you, they might not decide to commit to you, and that’s ok. It’s not your fault.

So the next time I liked a guy, and he seemed interested, but then the thing fizzled out, I wasn’t as broken as I was before. That was his choice, and I can’t force him to do otherwise, but what I can do is make my own choice.

I did not blame myself; I chose to move on.

More Love. That’s it:

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4 thoughts on “I Stopped Blaming Myself for Other People’s Choices

  1. That’s a very good input. I think it applies to a lot of other areas in life too — from friendships to work to just about anything. We are all constantly judged, whether we like it or not. Or whether we are aware of it or not. The sad thing is, it’s always subjective. Everyone has their own set of standards, so to speak.

    But hey, on the bright side, that gives us the opportunity to be with the people (or the companies or countries) that we’re meant to be. Destiny kinda works like that, i reckon. Kind of like filtering out the unnecessary to make way for the best things that life has always prepared for us when we’re ready.

    –says the very optimistic me. Lol.

    1. Cool! I never thought of it that way. Thanks for sharing your interpretation, Jewey. You’re right. This kind of thinking can be applied to other things. In a way, yeah, it is good to filter out things that weren’t meant for us. I like your take on this! So awesome! And it’s good to be optimistic! We’ll really jive coz I’m like a happiness junkie and stuff. I always try to stay positive, even though it is hard sometimes. This is why this blog helps me. It’s kind of a place where I can put all my positive thoughts, so that when I’m down, I can go to it, and it will help me get back on track. Anyway, thanks again for reading my blog and for sharing your insights!

      1. same here. my blog’s ultimate purpose is to remind me of the good times when i’m old and gray.

        i’m not even old and gray yet and already, i’m reaping the benefits of backtracking through my blog and taking a happy trip down memory lane. well, it’s not all the time happy but you know, life. at least those memories have been transcribed on my blog rather than losing them slowly with time.

        i like your blog. i think you write really well and i love how eloquently you express your thoughts. your honesty, too. keep writing for yourself.

        cheers!

        1. Wow! Thank you so much for saying you like my blog! I always try to be as honest as I can. I think that is a very important trait. I think we have the same philosophy as well. I’m glad we see eye to eye! Thank you again for reading my blog! 🙂

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