My Irrational Fear: Because I was an Honor Student, I will Not Succeed in Life

Ok so I have this irrational fear that because I was a hardworking student, then I will not succeed in life. Huwatt?! Yes. And yes, this an entry about the anxieties of an overachiever. Experience though is disproving my unfounded paranoia. Thank god. But where did this idea even come from?

You know all of those “success stories” (which for me are horror stories) of lazy ass students who became rich later in life? It’s because they learned how to make social connections through their reckless partying back in college. Then, there are stories about valedictorians who became so destitute, they began to peddle goods at the bangketa. They know a lot about books, but they were shit in real life.

Though I was well aware of those horror-success stories, I still couldn’t help myself–while I was in school, I studied and studied hard. Despite my fondness for the library, I still managed to get friends, but I do regret not forming close relationships with my orgmates because I was too obsessed with achieving things.

Of course, there is sense to learning how to deal with people, and I have made headway in that department, but I will never be an extrovert-hey-look-at-me-I-need-ATTENTION!

I am also discovering that my geeky ways helped me learn a lot of things. I learned how to become disciplined, I learned how to delay gratification, I understood the rhythm of my productive and creative process, I know how to deal with writer’s block and procrastination, I developed means and ways to organize my day and have an efficient work process, I am well aware of my weaknesses and I know how to compensate for them, and I discovered how to create strategies that will help me work faster and better.

So it turns out that studying hard helps in real life, and I did not become completely socially inept because of it. I’m ok. I’m good. I don’t need to be someone that I’m not. Things are working out just fine.

More Happiness and Inspiration:

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Note: For some entries in this blog, a few names and details have been deliberately and willingly changed by the author. This is a personal decision made by the author for specific reasons known to her and is not an endorsement for censorship.

All the opinions expressed in this page and in this blog are my own and do not represent the official stances of the companies, institutions, and organizations that I am affiliated with. I am a person. I’m not just a manifestation of corporate interests. I have an identity that is separate from my company because even if human beings are paid for a service by corporations, human beings are not owned by corporations. 

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