I Think I Loved Him as an Idea

I read this in my diary, “I think I loved him as an idea, but not as a flesh and blood human being that he truly was.” I was referring to the first guy I ever dated for a period of time. Before him, I only went out with a guy on one date and fell in love with another guy who didn’t love me back.

At the start of the relationship, I was so excited that I finally met someone who liked me back. I thought that was it. I liked him and he liked me, end of story. Happily ever after. Roll the credits.

But we broke up.

I fell in love with the idea of having a boyfriend. I fell in love with the idea of falling in love. There was nothing wrong with him. There was nothing wrong with us. But there was nothing right either.

More Love. That’s it:

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Note: For some entries in this blog, a few names and details have been deliberately and willingly changed by the author. This is a personal decision made by the author for specific reasons known to her and is not an endorsement for censorship.

All the opinions expressed in this page and in this blog are my own and do not represent the official stances of the companies, institutions, and organizations that I am affiliated with. I am a person. I’m not just a manifestation of corporate interests. I have an identity that is separate from my company because even if human beings are paid for a service by corporations, human beings are not owned by corporations. 

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