Mid-Year Report: Spend More Time With People

So 2015 is nearing its end, and I am happy to report that my goal this year–spend more time with people—has been a success. In my first post, I talked about my fear of living as an overworked overachiever who never spent time with the people I loved. I talked about my regrets when my grandmother died and not wanting to make the same mistake of taking my loved ones for granted.

In that post, I proposed several resolutions, but instead of being unfocused and doing all of those things, I switched to one goal–I had to go out four times a month with friends or family.

I chose to aim for a quota because it’s clearer to see if I am succeeding or not. All I have to do is count. My one standard was concrete and without leeway for subjective judgment. Though the goal seemed easy, I was also like, Accckkk! Four times a month? When will I find the time? Then, I got surprised that this was my initial reaction. It means that I didn’t even spend four times a month with friends and family, but when you think about it, there are 16 days (Friday nights, Saturdays, and Sundays) each month where I can go out. So allotting 4 out of that 16 shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but apparently for overachiever me, it was.

I also realized that knowing how your mind works can help you create systems to trick yourself to do things that you do not normally do. I have an overachiever mindset, which means that I don’t spend time with friends and family because that means that I will spend less time achieving stuff. So I had to turn this goal into something that feels like an achievement.

My solution: a list. The top of the list has the month, and every time I went out with someone, I can write it down, and I have to have four entries per month. This simple tool allowed my achiever brain to feel successful.

When I started doing this, I discovered natural opportunities to spend time with people. I was going to two events in the same place, but one was one in the morning and one late at night, so I had this entire afternoon in between. Good thing, my other friend was going to these two events as well, so I asked her if she wants to hang out while waiting for our second event. Sometimes after events, I asked my industry peers to have coffee, and one time my other media friends asked me out as well. Since I write about theater, I get free tickets. When I get offered two tickets, I say, “Just one lang po”. I did that because I was lazy to ask someone out. Since I had the resolution, I had to stop being lazy and ask people out. So I got to do my goal while doing my job. Efficiency level: awesome!

By spending time with people, I learned that many of my media friends had similar interests as mine. One was a fiction writer, another liked self-help stuff, another liked performance poetry, another liked crafts. It was so mind blowing because before this I kept looking for people who liked what I liked, when in reality, I already knew them; I just didn’t know that their interests were the same as mine.

Nowadays, I feel less alone. This goal has really made such a big impact on my happiness. I hope to continue doing this for the rest of my life. But of course, for next year, I’ll have another goal. It doesn’t mean I will abandon this goal. I just know that it is more natural for me to spend time with people now, so I will need to put more effort in another goal. What will that next goal be?

More Happiness and Inspiration:

Check out my other blog categories.

If you like this post, please subscribe to this blog. Ja is also on Twitter and FacebookTumblr, Bloglovin (for blogfor Tumblr). Email Ja at: ageofthediary@gmail.com.

Note: For some entries in this blog, a few names and details have been deliberately and willingly changed by the author. This is a personal decision made by the author for specific reasons known to her and is not an endorsement for censorship.

All the opinions expressed in this page and in this blog are my own and do not represent the official stances of the companies, institutions, and organizations that I am affiliated with. I am a person. I’m not just a manifestation of corporate interests. I have an identity that is separate from my company because even if human beings are paid for a service by corporations, human beings are not owned by corporations. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s