Complex Choices: Alarm Bells vs Bad Marriages

If you’ve read To Shift or Not to Shiftyou’ll know that I’m an advocate of dumping things that don’t make you happy. Even if you’re not sure of the next step, you should still drop that thing that makes you miserable. Taking risks is hard, but I realized that it was easier to make those scary choices back when I was absolutely miserable. As you grow older though, life becomes more complex, and things become less clearer.

The coming confusing situations will be more like bad marriages than obvious alarm bells. Situations will promise you security and other perks but will not make you happy. When I had to break up with a guy I was dating but I wasn’t in love with, I was faced with this choice. It was so nice to have someone, to be treated to dinners, to have someone to be physically intimate with, but there was a cloud of doubt hovering over me. I left, and it turned out to be the right choice.

I also experienced this in my debate career. I had an operation, so I skipped an entire season of debating. When I returned, everyone got better already, and I had a hard time keeping up. I thought about quitting, but part of me didn’t want to throw away all the years that I invested in debate. I stayed, and it turned out to be the right choice because I took home the fourth best speaker in Asia award.

Will I hit it every time? How will I know when it’s time to leave? Am I wasting this great opportunity to make mistakes while I am young and stupid? When will I know that I’m only being blinded by the perks and that, in truth, I am not truly happy? How will I know if I’m still making the right decision?

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