Never Ask a Question If You’re Just Looking to be Validated

There was a time when I made this mistake. I asked someone about what he thought about a certain thing, and I didn’t like the answer. Then, I realized that I never asked the question to know what he thought; I asked the question because I wanted someone to approve of what I had already thought. Not a good thing, no.

From then on, I made this rule for myself: never ask a question if you’re just looking to be validated. If I didn’t have that rule, I’d be setting myself up for disappointment. I might even get into an argument with somebody and that person can resent me for asking his or her opinion and then reacting so combatively against the answer. If I’m not really interested in what a person has to say, then I better not ask for his or her opinion. If I ask, then I should be open, and I should listen. This is logical, but, ghad, in practice, this is hard. I hope I can make good with this resolution.

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