Tina Fey’s autobiography Bossypants has an unusual advice for women: “I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.” She doesn’t elaborate why she gave that advice, which is seemingly counter-intuitive. Women are always told that we should never cry at work or else we’ll look weak. However, for Tina, it obviously worked for her. She didn’t look weak because people even got scared of her.
I wonder what’s the story behind that. I also wonder whether she was already famous when she cried at work. Although she also says, “Cry sparingly”, so I guess she’s not all for crying at work. For the rest of us, I guess we still have to tread lightly about this issue, but it’s interesting to know that a woman showed emotion at the office and survived to tell the tale.
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I think she was being funny because crying is the last thing a woman (or anyone) should do at work. Crying often makes folks feel uncomfortable, but it really depends on the context.
My brother told me a story about one of his female workers crying in an effort to make him feel sorry for her. And when I was deeply upset at my teaching job back in the States, my then-boss said, “pull yourself together” – this was of course, after he said he would have fired me last year if he had been here. Yeahhhhh.
Interestingly, when I was in high school theatre and one of my classmates cried on stage, our teacher said that we shouldn’t really cry – it’s acting, real tears make the audience feel uncomfortable. But between the screen, in movies and such, it really is different though, isn’t it?
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Thank you for sharing those stories, Lani. It’s interesting how crying is used and regarded in different circumstances.
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