Henry Cloud: Don’t be attached to a certain outcome

How can we have the courage to do the right thing? Sometimes it’s not as easy as it seems. Sometimes doing the right thing can affect us negatively. Activists who speak up for just causes but end up being jailed by oppressive regimes would know this to be true. We really don’t know what will happen though until we make that decision. Maybe the activists won’t get jailed and instead triggers a revolution and is deemed a hero.

However, the threat of negative consequences, no matter how unsure they are, is enough to make us cower and decide to do the wrong thing. There is an advice though that can help us during these trying times, and that is: “Don’t be married to a certain outcome.” I read this in the book, Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward by Henry Cloud.

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Fear is no reason to stay

I remember what it was like before I resigned from my stable job as a full-time reporter and embarked on the scary but much more fulfilling path of a freelance writer. I realized that the only reason why I was staying was because I was afraid. I was afraid that I was never going to get anything better than what I already had.

But fear is no reason to stay. You stay because you love something. You stay because you are convinced that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Yet I couldn’t find the strength to leave. I knew I had to do it, but I just couldn’t.

This worried me as I always defined myself as a brave person. I thought, what if my brave days were over? What if I had finally grown old and scared and I wouldn’t be able to be brave anymore?

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