Henry Cloud: Don’t be attached to a certain outcome

How can we have the courage to do the right thing? Sometimes it’s not as easy as it seems. Sometimes doing the right thing can affect us negatively. Activists who speak up for just causes but end up being jailed by oppressive regimes would know this to be true. We really don’t know what will happen though until we make that decision. Maybe the activists won’t get jailed and instead triggers a revolution and is deemed a hero.

However, the threat of negative consequences, no matter how unsure they are, is enough to make us cower and decide to do the wrong thing. There is an advice though that can help us during these trying times, and that is: “Don’t be married to a certain outcome.” I read this in the book, Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward by Henry Cloud.

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Inspiring quote: what you are shouts so loudly; I cannot hear what you say

I’ve always been insecure about my social skills. I’m not charismatic, and in long periods of my life, I was painfully shy. This is why when I read this quote in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey, I got really inspired. The quote goes:

What you are shouts so loudly in my ear, I cannot hear what you say -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Anong wala kang piyesa? Meron! Meron!

“Wala akong piyesa!” This was my main excuse as to why I wasn’t submitting to literary publications. I still need to write something, I kept saying. A few days ago, a friend ask me where my Creative Writing thesis was, and when I said it was just somewhere, he suggested that I submit it to this journal. I was like, ack! But he was right, I should submit. I also realized that I have entire folders in my computer of stuff I’ve written. So marami akong piyesa, ayoko lang ipakita. Then I read this article Why You Should Aim for 100 Rejections a Year, and it made complete sense.

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Meeting a fearless student

I’ve always defined myself as a brave person, that is at least in terms of being courageous enough to leap to new opportunities. In terms of political opinions, I used to be very comfortable sharing links and making comments about various issues, but these days, I hesitate. This reminded me of the time when I watched Schindler’s List, and right after that movie, I thought, what if, like Schindler, history asks me to rise up and fight for something right? Will I be able to heed the call of the times? During that time, I couldn’t answer my own questions, and now that there’s a creeping legitimization of dictatorship and a ravenous call for more bloodshed, I am afraid that my answer to that is increasing into a shameful no. I am scared, and that’s why I was so inspired when I met my student who exuded fearlessness.

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Books that had a lasting impact on my life (Book 4: Be True to Yourself)

Though I’m not a teen anymore, I love Be True to Yourself: A Daily Guide for Teenage Girls by Amanda Ford. The book is just a little bigger than the usual pocket-sized book but it is twice their thickness. The entire book is divided into months, and under one month, there’s a page for each day. In each page, there’s a headline that’s inked in black or pink. Emblazoned are words like Life is a Journey, Keep Your Teddy Bears, Kiss Me, No More “I’m Not Mad At You”. Then there are two to three paragraphs explaining the topic.

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Learning Honesty: Feelings about Other People

Honesty has become an integral part of my identity and my writing journey, but I realized that being honest about my negative feelings for other people is something that I have yet to learn.

As you can see through my blog, I am not a fan of privacy. When it comes to my thoughts and feelings about my life, I can be as honest as hell, but when it comes to my thoughts and feelings about people, I often use euphemisms, evasion tactics, and I even resort to downright silence.

I am more bold when it comes to challenging other people’s beliefs, but I am mum when I need to tell them that I they hurt me or simply irritated me.

Being honest doesn’t mean that I want to become red-faced-banshee-screaming honest. I’d rather be cool and collected and yet able to face the painful issues that arise in my relationships.

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