In my notebook I saw this phrase “ask because you need not go it alone”. I wish I could say that I follow this advice, but it’s really hard for me to ask for help. I’m such a lone wolf so used to licking my own wounds. There’s a lot of pride involved there and distrust of other people. Or maybe I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust myself to be valuable enough that people won’t leave me if they find out that I am broken.
Honesty has become an integral part of my identity and my writing journey, but I realized that being honest about my negative feelings for other people is something that I have yet to learn.
As you can see through my blog, I am not a fan of privacy. When it comes to my thoughts and feelings about my life, I can be as honest as hell, but when it comes to my thoughts and feelings about people, I often use euphemisms, evasion tactics, and I even resort to downright silence.
I am more bold when it comes to challenging other people’s beliefs, but I am mum when I need to tell them that I they hurt me or simply irritated me.
Being honest doesn’t mean that I want to become red-faced-banshee-screaming honest. I’d rather be cool and collected and yet able to face the painful issues that arise in my relationships.